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Writting Writing from a hive mind POV

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are sendsent to other planetary systems in the hope to findof finding new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanityhumanity's last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, strugglestruggling to maintain social order and trytrying to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team sendsent to space,: they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progressprogresses some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'll write a few scenes to try different styles and see what works.

Full disclosure: I write in French and my worseworst enemy seems to be not the fundamental difference between human and alien-hive-mind perception of reality, but the third person plural past tense, which sounds unnatural and wrong.

Writting from a hive mind POV

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'll write a few scenes to try different styles and see what works.

Full disclosure: I write in French and my worse enemy seems to be not the fundamental difference between human and alien-hive-mind perception of reality, but the third person plural past tense, which sounds unnatural and wrong.

Writing from a hive mind POV

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are sent to other planetary systems in the hope of finding new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity's last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggling to maintain social order and trying to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team sent to space: they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progresses some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'll write a few scenes to try different styles and see what works.

Full disclosure: I write in French and my worst enemy seems to be not the fundamental difference between human and alien-hive-mind perception of reality, but the third person plural past tense, which sounds unnatural and wrong.

added 364 characters in body
Source Link
Babika Babaka
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The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'll write a few scenes to try different styles and see what works.

Full disclosure: I write in French and my worse enemy seems to be not the fundamental difference between human and alien-hive-mind perception of reality, but the third person plural past tense, which sounds unnatural and wrong.

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'll write a few scenes to try different styles and see what works.

Full disclosure: I write in French and my worse enemy seems to be not the fundamental difference between human and alien-hive-mind perception of reality, but the third person plural past tense, which sounds unnatural and wrong.

Tweeted twitter.com/#!/StackWriters/status/631897240798429184
deleted 6 characters in body
Source Link
Babika Babaka
  • 984
  • 11
  • 26

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

In this universe, aOur bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

In this universe, a hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?

The story:

Centuries ago, humanity have been incorporated into an alien hive mind, spread by a bacterial-like infection. The "bacteria" infects the blood and brain and allows the infected to join their minds together, there is no alien overlord, just an interplanetary community of spirit. Everyone is happy.

The problem is that our immune system starts to fight back. More and more babies are born with little to no space-bacteria in their brain, and need daily injections to stay "normal".

Even worse, the space-bacteria signal strength is globally diminishing.

We can barely feel the presence of the other infected species outside the solar system, soon we'll only be able to share our thoughs with the people in our immediate vicinity.

Teams of space-travelers are send to other planetary systems in hope to find new strains of the bacteria to re-infect everyone. They are humanity last hope to be happy again.

My story explores two facets of this terrible, terrible situation:

  • One part is about people who stayed on earth. They are trying to find a cure against our immune system, struggle to maintain social order and try to cope with the loss of happiness.

  • The other is about a team send to space, they travel around, meet infected and non-infected civilizations, ask for information on the bacteria in space-taverns, learn the concept of money and hire a few space-mercenaries to help them in their noble quest.

Additional information:

Our bacterial hive-mind is kind of like a single mind controlling numerous bodies at the same time. Each of the bodies have different perceptions, since their senses perceive the world differently and their basic instincts are still there (young ones enjoy playing a lot, most of them enjoy hugging and kissing, some prefer to hide under a blanket during storms, etc.). The collective can feel different emotions and needs at the same time, but it's still one mind. Like most creatures, it tries to live its life in the most agreeable way possible.

On earth, the connection is deteriorating, so as the story progress some parts of the hive mind degenerate into partially connected individuals.

One part of the story is told from the earth collective mind POV, another from a smaller collective mind POV, formed by the ship crew, and from the POV of other hive minds they'll meet on their journey (I haven't decided yet on how these other collectives will be structured).

I was thinking about writing in a first view perspective, while using "we" and "us". But the first scenes I have written are super-annoying to read.

My Questions:

How can I write a story from a collective mind perspective without being confusing or obnoxious? Should I use a first or third person narrative?

Are there well-written stories told from a hive mind POV?

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